Too bad it's not on the air anymore

Since I moved to Memphis, I've picked up a few new shows. There's one that's currently on the air (The Big Bang Theory). Then there is or show that isn't in production anymore. That show would be Reba. The content of that show just speaks to me for some reason. Reba, the main character, has some of the best lines and her daughter, Kira, has the best zingers ever! 

I always feel so uplifted when I'm done watching that show. Maybe it's the idea that I get to "be" a part of these characters' lives or that it's a total departure from how my life is. Either way, I really should look into getting those seasons on DVD.

Is this pushing it?

I was listening to my favorite morning show on the way in this morning and heard about this doll that has sparked a lot of controversy. Below is the entire article.

Breastfeeding doll with strap on breast for girls sparks controversy today

Roz Zurko, Hartford Pop Culture Examiner
Posted: 03/26/2011 10:18 PM

A breastfeeding doll that comes with fake strap on breasts for your little girl is a toy that many parents are not comfortable with for their kids. This breastfeeding doll is in the news today because it is so controversial, according to Fox News Connecticut.

This breastfeeding doll from Berjuan Toys comes with a top that contains fake breasts. It resembles a bathing suit top for your little girl to put on. It has a flower painted around each nipple for the child to guide the breastfeeding doll to her nipples. The doll makes a sucking sound as it breastfeeds.

"The creation of this breastfeeding doll is to teach little girls how to breast feed a baby and learn about the special bond between a mother and child," according to Berjuan Toys website.

Berjuan Toys calls the doll, “healthy fun” and says that a girl is never too young to learn the healthy message of breastfeeding. Don’t girls have plenty of time to learn about the bonding that breast feeding provides when they get older?

On Fox News, the women on at the news desk were uncomfortable about giving the breast feeding doll to their little girls and thought the breastfeeding doll was a bit over the edge.

The manufacturer of the breastfeeding dolls is in Spain and the dolls have been available online for a few years. They sell for about 100 dollars.
Reference: Connecticut Fox News - Hartford, Berjuan Toys
March 26, 2011

First, I don't know about you but I wouldn't spend $100 on a doll that does that for my daughter. If my daughter really wanted to pretend to breastfeed one of her dolls, she's more than welcome to do so without the strap on breasts.

Second, can't this damage a child in the future? Not all women are able to breastfeed their children or have the desire to. Yes, I understand that it can promote breastfeeding later in life but I just feel like this toy is pushing it a little bit. It reminds me of a toy that was marketed specifically to little girls a couple of years ago that had a complete house including washer and dryer for the little girls to play with.

Maybe I'm a little too sensitive about gender roles. What do you think? Would you buy this for your daughter or granddaughter? Better yet, would you buy this for your son or grandson?

Bring It All Back

I've been in a notable funk since Lee left last week. Yesterday, in an attempt to pull myself out of that funk, I was thinking about all the different songs that I either danced to growing up or got suck in my head from watching people perform their dance to that song. The song that came to mind right away was a song call "Bring It All Back" by S Club 7. It's a really catchy song that can get stuck in your head pretty easily. It's the chorus that is really resonating with me right now and I'm not totally sure why. The chorus goes a little something like this:

Don't Stop
Never give up
Hold your head high
And reach the top
Let the world see what you've got
Bring it all back to you
Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get to tough
Bring it all back to you

For some reason, this is really inspiring today. It's a take charge and don't let anyone get in your way attitude. I just have one problem with it. I can't bring it all back to me. That's just going to put more pressure on me than I really want honestly. What about bringing it all back to God? He's big enough to take any of my problems. Scripture tells us that we should cast our burdens onto Jesus anyways.

Anyways, this song has now become my new ringtone to remind me to hold my head up just a little bit higher than before.

Before I leave you, I have to share something I heard on Jay Leno last night. He had Russell Brand and Lorraine Nicholson on the show. Lorraine was talking about her new movie Soul Surfer and that she actually had to learn how to surf for the movie. Russell then chimes in .....and I quote "I've been surfing. It's hard..........You don't stand on the sea. It's not natural. Jesus only did it once." I laughed really hard hearing that. I don't know why I thought it was so funny but it was to me.

Only Boy Who Could Ever Reach Me Was The Son Of A Preacher Man

35 years ago yesterday, the picture above was taken. It was 1976. That was my parents wedding day. My parents got married at the church where my grandfather was a pastor and my mom had been worshiping for several years. My grandfather and Mom's Uncle Eugen married them. I've looked through the pictures of my parents wedding day several times. The picture that always gets me is the one of my mom sitting on my gramp's lap crying. I'm not sure why she was crying but the thing that I remember most about that picture is how big my gramps was smiling. It went from ear to ear. He was glowing almost like it was his wedding day. I remember that smile because that's the same smile I got from him whenever I would come visit. There's also been a picture of my parents on their wedding day hanging in my living room ever since I can remember. At first, I didn't know it was them because you couldn't see all of Mom's face and Dad has this look on his face like he's got something up his sleeve. 

The world has changed a lot since my parents wedding day. A lot has happened in those 35 years for my parents as well.

Two very big things that came out of my parents marriage are my brother and me. I say we were big things because we weren't exactly small when we were born weighing in at 8 and almost 10 pounds respectively. My brother is the first born and he was born in 1981. I was second and I was born in 1988. My parents decided before either one of us were born that they didn't want to know what we would be until we were born. They felt like it would ruin the surprise when we were actually born. Since then, they've watched us grow up, graduate from high school and college, and start out in the real world. For my brother, they've also watched him graduate from seminary with 2 degrees, get married, and ordained. They'll see me get married one day....but that's a topic for another time.

My dad was in the military when my parents got married. He was in the Army Reserves. He'd go away for a weekend a month and for 2 weeks sometime during the year for training. One day before my 3rd birthday, my dad was activated for the first Desert Storm. This ment that my dad had to leave my brother and as well was my mom to go serve our country. We're very blessed that he never left the states but we were without him for longer than we liked. I can vaguely remember driving to Washington DC with my mom and brother to visit my dad. My dad retired from the military when I was 7 and has been able to be with us since.

They've also had their fair share of loss as well as hard times. My dad has had both of his parents pass away during their marriage. Mom has also lost her father. They have been the people that have taken charge of these situations and did what they could with them in order for it all to work out. They led the charge of cleaning out my grandparents' house after Grandma and Sweetie Pie (Dad's parents) passed away and did the same for cleaning out Gram and Gramps' house, condo, and room in an assisted living facility. Dad has lost his job a couple of times too. Going from 2 incomes to 1 while you have children in college is really difficult. They figured out a way for it to all work out in the end though.

I have a wonderful example of marriage before me because of my parents. I know that I will be truly blessed to have a marriage that goes for as long as their's has with Lee when that time comes.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! You are the example of For Better or For Worse, For Richer or For Poorer, and In Sickness and In Health.  I love you.

35 Years Later

Today is my parents' 35th wedding anniversary.  I have lots to say about this huge occasion including posting a picture of my parents. Sadly, my phone isn't the place for me to say everything that I want to. Come back tomorrow for my celebration of my parents' union.

It's true

It's true what they say. Silence is deafing. Sometimes,  silence is wonderful.  For me the past few days, silence has been painfully quiet.

And again

Today, I still have nothing nice today or that I can openly share.  Please continue to lift me up in prayer and ask God to grant me what I really need right now.

If you don't have anything nice to say

For years growing up, I would hear adults in my life tell me that if I didn't have anything nice to say that I shouldn't say anything at all. Due to a horrible evening last night, I've decided to have a short blog today with nothing of great substance because I have nothing nice to say. There are a lot of things floating around in my mind that do not need to be vented here. It would not be appropriate for me to do so in this particular form.

I will ask that you pray for me and this particular place in my life. I'm not going into detail as to what I want prayers for because.....well....that's a little too much personal info to put out in the world right now. I need to be in a better frame of mind and I apparently can't do that on my own right now.

I pray that I'll be "back to normal" tomorrow.

Dangerous Curves

I went for a drive this morning to Shelby Forest. It's a state park that's about a half hour from the church. I drove out there to see if there were any options available for my youth who want to take a camping trip next month. It was a disappointment because there was no one there when I got there and basically my drive out there had become pointless. Then I remembered the signs, just like the one above, on the way in. Now, being a girl from Pittsburgh, I was expecting some really steep hills that my car would really have to struggle to get up. However, they weren't very steep at all. Sections of the road reminded me of my neighborhood in Pittsburgh with all the trees and the curves of the road. What made the roads dangerous though was the hairpin turns and the road falling away due to erosion.

That got me thinking about dangerous curves.....and how many ways those two words can be taken. ~Dangerous curves could mean literally just that. There are some curves out there that are really dangerous because they're very tight and some are even blind making navigating those turns even harder.

~Dangerous curves could be used to describe the consequences of a decision. In most cases, it's a bad decision that leads to another bad decision that leads to another bad decisions......see where I'm going with this. In other cases, it could be that one hasty decision leads to another and you can end up spiraling out of control with all of those decisions not knowing how you got there in the first place. Now, that doesn't mean that the hasty decisions were bad. It just means that sometimes things move really fast and you have to make decisions quickly. Once the dust settles from all that decision making, you can be left wondering how on earth you got to where you are.

Is life full of dangerous curves? Oh yes. The trick is knowing how to navigate those curves......or knowing someone who can guide you through those curves.

One Correct Translation

Because I'm still not mentally all together......I'm going old school. I'm posting a paper that I wrote my sophomore year of college. My Religion in America class would have to write dialogue papers about the different assigned readings. This particular paper is about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints early writings about there only being one correct translation. The text that I'm writing about is at the top of the paper. If you'd like to know what specific book it comes from, please email me and I'll give you all the information about the book.  Take some time to read my thoughts and see if you agree with my former adviser's grading of this paper.

One Correct Translation

“We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to the word of God” (Griffith, 165)

            The idea of one correct translation of the Bible was something that struck me as odd. While the quote is from the Articles of Faith for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it made me wonder about all the languages that the Bible has been translated into. It also made me think about how many different translations of the Bible there is for the English language alone. Is any one set translation better than another?

            Joseph Smith might have written this statement down to be an article of faith for one simple reason. Smith could have wanted his followers to use the translation that he was using so they would come to the same understandings and conclusions from the Bible that he was. It is not flawed logic to be honest.  This idea would help grow the religious movement that Smith created. Smith would also have many people who would back him up if he was to be questioned about his faith. These people would also be able to give their testimony about their findings in Smith’s teachings. There was also the risk that if one of his followers used a different translation that the follower might read something that would go against Smith’s teachings. This might cause Smith to loose followers of the religious movement that he created. It is also easier to have one translation so a group of individuals does not have to guess if their translation is saying the same thing as the person sitting next to them.

            I can not imagine having a belief that states that I have to have a particular translation of my holy writings. The approved translation might not the translation that speaks to me to most. How would not having a translation of my holy writings be able to speak to me help me become a stronger person in my faith? I would not be able to grow in my faith. The words would just be something to read. They would not sink into my heart and soul. Now, if I was raised with only that particular version of the holy writings and understood them, there would not be a problem. It is all about your tradition and what you feel comfortable with.

            While I understand what I think to be Smith’s logic behind stating there should be one correct translation, I believe it is flawed. What might work for one person will not always work for the person next to them. Each person has to experience God in the way that they are the most comfortable with. If a person grew up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, then this would not be a problem for them. For me, it would be a problem.  I get a better understand of God from each different version of the Bible that I read. It is the only way I know how to become stronger in my faith.  It all comes down to what translation is the best for you.

Too hard

Today, thinking of something very thought prevoking is very hard to do. Having to be up early to make sure that Lee got to the airport on time and having to say goodbye to him not knowing when I'll get to see him again is making today difficult. Instead of a posting where I complain about my situation, I'm posting my favorite picture of Lee and me as well as the lyrics to our song. It's entitled "You Picked Me" by A Fine Frenzy. Please forgive this time of weakness for me and pray for Lee's safe flight home.



One, two, three
Counting out the signs we see

The tall buildings

Fading in the distance

Only dots on a map

Four, five, six

The two of us a perfect fit

You're all mine, all mine
And all I can say

Is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree

Hiding out behind the leaves

I was difficult to reach

But you picked me

Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece

I was difficult to see

But you picked me

Yeah you picked me

So softly

Rain against the windows

And the strong coffee

Warming up my fingers

In this fisherman's house

You got me

Searched the sand

And climbed the tree

And brought me back down

And all I can say

Is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree

Hiding out behind the leaves

I was difficult to reach

But you picked me

Like a shell upon a beach

Just another pretty piece

I was difficult to see

But you picked me

Yeah you picked me

Tomorrow can wait

Lee flys home tomorrow morning. I'm really not ready for him to leave. I get such limited time with him that I take any time that I can get very seriously. I'll fight for my time with him tooth and nail and I don't want to give any of it up ever.

I have a horrible feeling that tomorrow at the airport will be very very hard. I'm really not ready for him to go.

As far as I'm concerned, tomorrow can wait and actually not come.  I just want a little more time with Lee.

Bye, Lee. I'm so glad that you could be here for a little bit. I'll try not to cry a lot when we part tomorrow.

Sweet small wedding

I got to open up the church for a vow renewal this afternoon.  I got to experience something very sweet by pushing play for the music for the wedding.  It was a very small wedding with most likely about 25 people.  I'm glad that I got to be a part of their day. :-)

All that remains

24 shrimp later........

For the love of shrimp

This is how much I love shrimp........I'm waiting a hour and a half to get a table to order shrimp with Lee. Yeah.
...it's that serious.

Am I becoming a Southerner?

I went to a Christian concert at the beginning of the month called WinterJam. It was an awesome concert and I've had a song from David Crowder Band stuck in my head ever since. The lead singer refered to it as a "hoedown" at the concert and was a mashup of "I Saw The Light" and " I'll Fly Away". I love that mashup!!!!!!! I can't get enough of that mashup!!!!!!!!!

Below is a  link to a YouTube video of the mashup. For some reason, I can't embed it into this post. Sadly, it's not from the WinterJam concert in Memphis but it's really good quality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WN4Sfw_QlxI&playnext=1&list=PLC0CDC86244C99840

So.....my question is.....because I love this mashup......Am I becoming a Southerner?

Comments are welcome just be kind please!

Dumbfounded by kindness

I went to a member's house for dinner last night. I've been wanting to get to know this particular family more since starting at St. Luke and they've welcomed me into one of the toughest times they've had to go through. I was every tickled and excited that they invited me for dinner. When I asked if there was anything that I could bring for dinner (Mom would be so proud and most likely is after reading that part), I was told to bring whatever I was known for making. Well, I'm not known for making spinach balls (an family favorite in my family) but I made the offer to bring spinach balls. I've loved them since I was a really young. I always asked for them when I was home from college and to have them for my birthday when I was growing up.  So after office hours yesterday, I went home and made spinach balls. Once they were all cooked, I drove to the otherside of Memphis to my member's house.

I walked into the house and the first thing that I smelled was bacon. For most of my friends, they know that the way to my heart is via bacon. I took my spinach balls to the kitchen, played with their oldest son for a little bit, talked with the dad about life and my fiance, and got to hold their youngest son who will be turning 3 months old soon. Then it was time for dinner. When I asked what we were having, the mom looked at me and said that we were having lazy perogies with a Southern twist of bacon. If you know me, you know that I love perogies....either in traditional form or in lazy form. Now, this family grew up in the South. Perogies aren't exactly part of Southern food culture unless you are a transplant from up North. The mom of the family said that she hoped the lazy perogies were like the ones that I'm used to.

I'm fairly certain that I stood in their kitchen with my mouth open for a couple of minutes because of her concern for the taste of the lazy perogies. I was literally dumbfounded by their kindness. It was so sweet of them to take that step to make me feel at home and comfortable. I'm still pretty much speechless about that alone (No comments please).

Then (as if the lazy perogies weren't enough!) they handed me a card that they were going to send to me but didn't have my address to do so. It was a thank you card. I'm not going to say what the card said (honestly, it's too personal and I'd rather keep it between the family and myself). I was so incredable touched. I honestly could have cried.

It's the little things like the kindness of this family that make my job super rewarding. Whether or not they know this, they actually ministered to me last night. I actually felt like I was back at my host family's house with all of the love and laughter that has happening. I will very much remember this kindness for the rest of my life. This family has made a lasting impression that I hope will only get deeper and deeper as time goes on.

But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,but only the Father

A friend of mine put the following up as her status on Facebook last night.

Sept 11th (NewYork) Jan 11th (Haiti) and March 11th (Japan)........Luke 21:10-11 Then Jesus said to his disciples : "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be great earthquakes', famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven. 'Jesus says for behold I come quickly,' So ask yourself r u ready?

This friend is a very dear friend of mine. When I saw that she put this up, I just shook my head. I had a hard time and still have a hard time believing that she put this out there. It's a very bold statement and one that can stir up a lot of emotions within people.  

It seems like, to me at least, that when horrible disasters happen in the world that people look for ways to link them together. They look for some kind of sign signaling the second coming of Christ. There are the occasional groups that think that they have it figured out and tell everyone when Christ is coming again causing a panic. I remember that kind of panic when we were approaching the year 2000. I heard so many times that Christ was going to come on New Year's Day 2000........Since I'm able to write this now over 11 years later and you're able to read it, Christ didn't come.  Then they tag on the lines like "will you be ready?" or "are you ready?" to make it seem even more urgent.  It's almost like these people are doing it for shock value. Yes, I understand that they have the right to say whatever they want to say. However, I really think that everyone needs to take those kinds of statements with a grain of salt. I also think that people should look back to scripture in this particular instance.

The second thing that came to mind shortly after reading this friend's status was the Bible verse that says something like no one knows the day or the hour.......so I looked it up.  The particular verse I was thinking of  is Matthew 24:36. I did want to include the entire context though in which this verse is placed.

Matthew 24:20-44
Pray that your flight will not take place in winter or on the Sabbath.  For then there will be great distress, unequaled from the beginning of the world until now—and never to be equaled again.

“If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened. At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah!’ or, ‘There he is!’ do not believe it. For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect. See, I have told you ahead of time.

“So if anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it. For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather.

    “Immediately after the distress of those days

   “‘the sun will be darkened,
   and the moon will not give its light;
the stars will fall from the sky,
   and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.’

“Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.
 
“Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near. Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door. Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
 
“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.
From: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2024:20%20-%2045&version=NIV

Basically, no matter how hard we try, we'll never be able to flat out predict when Christ is going to come again. The text literally says that Christ will come when we aren't expecting him......He'll drop in unannounced.  All we can do is remain ready for that coming. I don't mean ready as in having your home all clean and having all of your life goals accomplished. Jesus won't care if your home is a mess and you didn't get to go bungie jumping with your best friend. I mean that we should constantly live the faith that we profess and not just be Sunday Christians or CEOs (those who attend worship on Christmas, Easter and one other Sunday). We should be living our faith daily. We should be constantly growing within our faith and trying to draw closer to God. We should live by what Christ's teachings and the other teaching of the Bible in our daily lives.

Honestly, we should always be ready because we don't know when He might arrive. We should examine ourselves to see if we are ready but we shouldn't have to worry over it. We should just be able to simply say yes and move on with our personal faith journeies.

Hopefully, those kind of status will cause people to examine their personal faith journey and say that they are right where they feel they should be on their journey. I know that I'm able to say that. How about you?

Internet down

See......It's a good thing there's an app for everything. The internet is down in the office this morning. Neither Sue, an office volunteer, or I can figure out how to make it come back. We're waiting for Pam....who knows all....to come in this afternoon and fix it.

Until then, I'm brewing on my topic for today and it has to do with Japan, Haiti and 9/11. Stay tuned.

Born This Way - Power Anthem for Teen Girls?

For some reason the Lady GaGa song "Born This Way" is stuck in my head. I've only caught parts of the lyrics from listening to my youth sing it and hearing it on the radio. I decided to look up the lyrics to see what they actually say. To my surprise, this new catchy pop song actually has a positive mention of God. Below are some of the lyrics but not all. If you'd like to read all of the lyrics, follow the link under the lyrics.

My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothin wrong with lovin who you are"
She said, "'cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way

 

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/lady_gaga/#share

Now, I'm not saying that I agree with the whole song. I'm saying that I'm glad that there's something positive about God finally making into the mainstream music world.  I think that the youth that I work with on a weekly basis have to deal with labels all the time. I think that some of the girls especially have to deal with self image issues that make them extremely insecure about how they look.  I believe that this song is celebrating accepting your body. GaGa has it right when she says that God didn't make any mistakes when He made us.  I believe that it's true that you have to love yourself in order to be able to love others. I also believe that if you love and accept the body that you've been blessed with that you'll have a lot of confidence in yourself. That confidence can carry you so far and give you the strength to do so many things.

I believe that this Lady GaGa song is a power anthem for teen girls. So many girls now have an upbeat song that says that they are beautiful. It makes me smile.  It's become a motivational song for me. Everyone needs that kind of reminder every now and again. It's a step in the right direction.

Rain

It's raining here today......and it's not just raining a little bit......It's raining a lot. I generally don't like when it rains a lot here because the roads tend to have a lot of standing water on them. There isn't proper drainage on the roads. I also don't like the rain because I have the hardest time with Ross in this kind of weather. All he wants to do is go out and play but as soon as he realizes that it's wet......he wants to come right back in. It's like he has the memory of a goldfish because this same thing happens multiple times a day.  Today, I don't mind the rain though.

There's one reason and one reason only I don't mind the rain today. It's because of the ducks that have been waddling across the church's parking lot for a good hour or so.


This picture was taken from the window of my office. It's not the best picture in the world but there's only so much you can do taking a picture from behind your desk with a cell phone camera.

There's some standing water in the parking lot. It really appears as if they're literally wondering from puddle to puddle. Pam, one of the women that work in the church office, said that she thought they were going for the creek that runs along the side of the church property. So far, they haven't made it there. They've been just wondering around the parking lot. It's just two ducks too.....it's not like an entire flock. There have been a few times where it looked like one was telling off the other.....almost like these ducks are an old married couple arguing about if they should have gotten directions or not. It's really cute. I enjoy looking out my window to see them wondering through our parking lot.

It also makes me think of where I was in my life this time last year. On this date last year, I physically was at my future in-law's house on spring break. Mentally, I have no idea where I was. St. Luke wasn't even on the radar screen yet for me and I hadn't even began applying for jobs. I was very much like these ducks. I was wondering the proverbial parking lot looking for where the best place for me to go.

I did find where I need to be and I know that they'll find where they need to be too.......sooner or later.

This is what I was afraid of

This was exactly what I was afraid of.....I was afraid of doing this blog and coming to a day where I really didn't have anything to say that I could just openly say on here. There have been somethings that I've been thinking about today that I would find just too weird to put out there. Then I'm just left thinking of what to say and that's a struggle. I've been thinking about what to say on this post all day.....worship gave me a few ideas but nothing that I could form into a post. Some of my experiences today are just too personal to throw out there.

Sadly, this is the best that I can do today. I'm don't know what to say today.

I'm certainly no Master Chef

One of my members is a certified master chef. The food that he makes is just amazing. The first time that I had some of his food........I couldn't stop eating it.....even when I was so full that I waddled to the car to drive home.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm no master chef. Most of the food that I make is prepared by just adding water. Dinner tonight was different, I had an idea to make something a little different tonight. I made a chicken patty and that's where my creative mind kicked in. I don't have any hamburger buns in my apartment but I do have bagels......why not put the chicken patty on the bagel? Seems reasonable right? 2 slices of cheese, some mayo and ketchup later.....I have a really good sandwich.

I know that it's not best food ever made but for me it's a huge step in the right direction. I'm so proud of myself.....that I just might have to make another one.

A Puppy To Love

On my days off, Ross (my puppy) gets all of my attention. He normally gets a bath (which he loves!) and some more time outside than he normally gets during the days that I'm on the office.  Today, I finally saw what all of my members and what my fiance will most likely say next week when they see Ross: He's gotten really big!

When I adopted Ross from the Humane Society of Memphis and Shelby County back in November, he was 12 pounds, 3 months old and picking him up wasn't a problem. I could snuggle with him on my lap and and carry him around in my arms like a doll if I really wanted to. Today while I was lounging on the couch watching one of my favorite shows, Ross came up and was able to look me straight in the face without jumping up or anything like that. He's basically as tall as the seats on the couch!I couldn't and really still can't believe that Ross has gotten to be that big! When I carry Ross in my arms now, he takes up my entire torso and weighs a whopping 38 pounds. He's really changed in the 4 months that I've had him.

There are days when I come home that Ross just brightens up my day and I feel like someone other than a church worker. Then there are other days when I come home to let him out, and I wonder what on earth I got myself into adopting a puppy without any dog experience ever. On days like today, I'm very thankful that I have Ross around to make me laugh, smile, and appreciate the simple things in life. I finally have the dog that I always wanted when I was growing up. I have a puppy to love.

So far ahead yet so far behind all at the same time

I've gotten a lot of friend requests on Facebook lately from people that I went to high school with. I honestly haven't talked to them since graduation day and wonder why on earth they want to be friends with me now. I accept their requests most of the time and then take a look at their pictures to see what they've been up to since high school. To my surprise, most of these people have gotten married and had at least one child since graduation. These discoveries has lead to a feeling that I'm honestly not to sure about. I feel very far ahead and yet very far behind.

I feel very far ahead because I've got a few things that they don't have. I have a full time job with health insurance and a lot of other wonderful perks (like a retirement fund......It feels weird thinking about retirement at the ripe old age of 23). I have a BA which led me to the full time job.

I feel very far behind because I'm not married yet or have any children. I know that I'll have them one day. For right now, I'm finding myself  being jealous of what they have.

Sitting back and thinking about all of this made me realize that there aren't "check points" for 20 somethings post college. Think about it. From the time we're born, our parents look for milestones within our lives; the first smile, the first word, the first steps, the first day of school, getting your driver's license, becoming a legal adult.....the list goes on and on. They all have specific ages attached to them. Once you graduate from college, those age related milestones suddenly disappear. Getting married doesn't have an age attached to it. Having children doesn't have an age attached to it. I don't know about anyone else but I feel lost between being ahead and being behind.

I know, because of my faith, that I'm both lost and found all at the same time. I'm also saint and sinner.......depending on the day and who you talk to depends on which one I am. I also know that at the end of the day, only two people have to be happy with me; me and God. I don't have to fit into the cookie cutter life that most of the people I went to high school with have. In this particular case, I'm breaking the mold and stepping out into something that they can only dream of. I need to ask God for His peace with where I am in my life's journey and trust that I'm following in the ways that I should be following.

"I alone know theplan I have for you, plans to bring about the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11

Remember, you are dust and to dust you shall return

For as long as I can remember, I've heard the exact same phrase on Ash Wednesday when it comes to the imposition of ashes. The pastor would either mark your forehead or your hand with ashes in the shape of the cross and say "Remember, you are dust and to dust you shall return." It's a really heavy statement when you think about it.

At the end of this life, we will return to being dust either by cremation or our bodies decomposing. However, we don't really think about our bodies being dust in our current state. It's weird to think of our bodies in that way. I don't know about you but I tend to think of myself as someone who's pretty healthy minus a few aches and pains every now and again. I think of the physical flesh that's on my bones. I don't think of myself as the matter that is currently covering the sofa table in my apartment. The dust that we find around our homes, offices, and the places that we visit is made up  in part from our dead skin cells. This thought led me to thinking about how we get rid of the dust we find in our homes. We simply wipe it away or do something to remove it in a fairly simple motion. Then we forget about the dust that we removed and move on with our day.

Sometimes, I think we forget the fragile nature of human life. A life can end literally at any second. We're not as unbeatable as we really think we are. We're simple and basic.

It's a really heavy concept as we begin Lent today. It's an important concept to hang on to through Lent though because we need to be thankful for what God has already done for us. We also need to humble ourselves and stop thinking that we can live forever.

As a side note: this all sounded so much better in my head......making a link between dust and human life. Maybe I'm overstating it. I hope you all get what I'm trying to say.

Why blogging?

I thought a lot about what to do for Lent this year. Knowing my success rate at giving up things, the idea of actually giving things up was tossed out right away. It would be too hard on me.....especially the things that I kept thinking of to give up.
Chicken....nope.....that's pretty much my main source of protein. That wouldn't work.
Bacon......no way. Having discovered that I loved bacon shortly after turning 20, I still have a lot of years to make up for.
Shrimp.......can't do that one either although it would be easier than the other food items that I thought of. I discovered that I liked shrimp shortly before my 22nd birthday and haven't been able to get enough of it since. It's a good thing that I don't have a clue how to prepare it. It's also a good thing that my budget doesn't allow for me to go out to eat every time that I want some.

So, I thought about things that I could add to my day. The first thought was yoga. I've found it to be very calming and relaxing. I'm good at it because I used to be a dancer and the poses come pretty easy to me. I know though that there's no way that I can do yoga in my apartment. My puppy, Ross, would think that it's actually play time with Mommy and get in the way.  The second thought was Facebook. A lot of my friends are giving up Facebook for Lent. Why not me too? Well......that's how I find things out about my youth and families. I was actually able to keep track of one of my member's labor and delivery because of Facebook (and her posting while she was in labor).  It's also a communication tool for getting different event information out and keeping up with other youth pastors in my area. So, giving up Facebook just wouldn't work for me.

I finally settled on blogging for several different reasons. The first is that I'm already at a computer most of the day. I can jump on, type whatever I want to say out pretty quickly, publish it, and move on with my day. I can also do posting via either one of my two cell phones which will be helpful if I can't get to a computer for some reason. Typing my thoughts out is also very therapeutic for me. I'm not sure why it is but I know that I feel better about what's going on in my life once I've written it all out somewhere. I also thought that blogging would be a great way for my members to get to know me a little bit better. I can almost guarantee that most of my members didn't know prior to reading this posting that I love bacon and shrimp. Now, they do.  Lastly, blogging would allow me to really live this Lenten season where my members can be a part of it. 

I'm hoping that I can continue to blog without anything getting in my way and that this exercise will be one that's enlightening. It's my prayer that this will draw me closer to my members and to God.

My Lenten Discipline

Most people give things up for Lent. My mom always gives up sweets. My dad always gives up giving up on things (That seems a little silly to me.....almost like it's too easy). A few of my friends are giving up Facebook. I've always found it difficult to give things up for Lent. It's easier for me to add things to my day than give something up. For some reason, adding things in the past to my everyday life was harder than I thought it would be. I've thought a lot about what I can do this year that will help me set an example for my members as well as doing something for myself.  So, for this upcoming Lenten season, I'm going to be blogging. I'll be able to talk about what my life is like as a new college graduate trying to make it on my own and give my members a chance at getting to know me a little better than they already do. Since I already carry two cell phones around with me, blogging should be "easy" to do with the right app and allow me to blog from anywhere that has cell phone reception.

Here's to a wonderful Lenten season where we all prepare for the Resurrection of Christ.